How not to be rude in 2026

Published 10 July 2026 · india

Work Emailing colleagues out of hours The old rules of rudeness were partly about showing respect to people above you in the social hierarchy, says

Work Emailing colleagues out of hours The old rules of rudeness were partly about showing respect to people above you in the social hierarchy, says Bridget Dalton, a semiotician and cultural analyst at Truth Consulting. “It would once have been considered impolite for a junior employee to set a boundary with a senior colleague, but now it’s much ruder to impose on people who are more junior.” For example, now that most email services allow you to schedule messages, Dalton believes emailing junior staff outside working hours is an intrusion. “Contacting them out of hours implicitly suggests they should pick it up, and that’s not fair.” Single-word responses on Teams/Slack “Yep.” “Nope.” “Noted.” In an era when so much workplace communication happens via chat, ultra-brief replies can come across as dismissive, says Sophie Jewes, co-founder of the image consultancy agency Raven. “These aren’t replies; they’re shrugs. Could you really not locate a single additional word?” She also can’t stand a double chase. “Following up on a follow-up feels like walking into someone’s office and standing there until they look up,” she says. Instant messaging when you could ask in person Relying on chat platforms for conversations that could easily happen in person risks treating colleagues more like names on a screen than people sharing the same space. “It comes back to an idea of when is technology helpful versus when does it make people feel bad?” says Christine Porath, a professor at UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School in North Carolina. Taking Zoom calls from cafes “There’s always a dog barking,” says Ione Gamble, editor of The Polyester Book of (Bad) Taste. “There’s always someone trying to squeeze behind them.” It gives the impression, she says, “that they think they have somewhere more important to be than talking to you, that they couldn’t have just made sure they were at home or at their place of work at that time”. Permanent out-of-office messages Gamble can’t stand out-of-office messages that say, “I only reply to emails within these hours” or, “I have an extremely busy and important job, so please do not expect a quick reply.” She says: “It’s like, ‘OK. Sorry for bothering you.’ I’m not doing this for the good of my heart. There’s a reason we’re talking to each other on email … ” Public spaces Playing TikTok videos out loud on your phone Few behaviours attract as much annoyance as playing TikToks – or any audible content – out loud on public transport, in cafes, restaurants and waiting rooms.

Gamble says taxis should be included too. “You’re prioritising your own comfort over everyone else’s, which is the definition of rudeness to me.” Keeping your earphones in at the till Porath says a study she conducted of 2,000 workers in the US found grocery store assistants were increasingly reporting shoppers continuing phone calls on their earphones while checking out. “They’re interfacing with humans, but humans are not treating them with dignity or respect.” Dalton argues there’s a hierarchy of earphones-in behaviour. “You can say to whoever you’re talking to on the phone, ‘Sorry, I’m just going to pay for something,’ which at least lets the person you’re buying something from know that you register their existence.” Still, she says, best practice is taking your earphones out before you enter a shop. “Otherwise you’re faffing around with little tiny earphones at the till and holding up the queue – which is also rude.” Dating Chatting people up and never following through For Olivia Petter, an author and founder of the Red Lips singles night, the ultimate pre-date sins are initiating a meet-up and never following through with a plan, or going to a singles event when you’re not emotionally available. “If you’re looking for an ego boost, post a thirst trap on Instagram instead,” she says. Trying to kiss someone on a train platform or at a bus stop Don’t try to rush a smooch in the last few minutes of date extra time, says Petter. “If it hasn’t happened before public transport enters the picture, you need to wait until the next date.” Once ghosting was seen as the worst dating habit of all, but perceptions have changed, says Kitty Drake, the Guardian’s Blind date matchmaker. “It’s actually sometimes quite polite,” Drake argues. “If you go on a first date, neither of you really feels anything and you both know it, you mutually ghost. I think that’s the kindest way.” By contrast, the now obligatory, “You’re lovely, but … ” rejection text can feel oddly presumptuous. “It wasn’t a match for me either. I’m just not rude enough to tell you!” Promising to set a friend up and not following through “Lots of people think: ‘I can’t actually be bothered to do the setup, because it’ll be awkward for me if it goes wrong,’” says Drake. “It’ll be awkward for you?! I might have to stay alone for the rest of my life because you might be a tiny bit awkward for half an hour on one day?!” Messaging friends and family Using ChatGPT to write a heartfelt message Using AI to write a sincere message may actually signal that the sender cares deeply but struggles to express their feelings, says Dalton.