Indian kitchens are changing. But are women still doing most of the work?
The kitchen is often romanticised as a space of love and bonding, essential for the family. But in Indian kitchens, more often than not, women
The kitchen is often romanticised as a space of love and bonding, essential for the family. But in Indian kitchens, more often than not, women do more than men. From decision-making to the physical tasks, the burden falls on them. In urban India, men are entering the kitchen, but is the system still biased? Do they get more luxuries? We speak to men and women across the country to find out. A once-a-month affair in my home was baking a vanilla cake. A slow wait for the oven to heat up, before the warm sweet fragrance fills the room. But the 20 minutes that the cake took to rise was followed by an hour of cleaning the kitchen and the kids. Then came the homework runs, tantrums, and, finally, shut-eye. I realised all of it was being done solely by the mother. According to the findings of the Family Health Survey-5 2019-21, approximately 84% of married women decide what is cooked daily. It adds that 14% of both men and women support physical violence if the wife “does not cook properly”. The World Health Organisation noted in 2023 that over a fifth of all women in India have been subjected to intimate partner violence. The data on the why is negligible. Do men cook? We asked people about their view on cooking, kitchens, and labour. Men who now live alone, or not with their parents, cook more often and are more involved in the kitchen. "I have been helping my mom in the kitchen since my teens, so I pretty much know where everything is. I also cook for myself every evening, so it is just muscle memory at this point,” says Dildar Talukdar, a 20-year-old college student from Delhi.
“When I was young, I would only know about the basic spices, but when I started living alone I developed more knowledge about the kitchen,” says Sudeep Ghosla, a 40-year-old corporate professional. Division of labour “Since I live with my partner, juggling between college and a job, we often cook alternately. There are times when she cooks more than I and vice versa,” says Harshit Sharma (name changed), a 24-year-old Puducherry student. However, his partner, 23-year-old Swati Khuranna (name changed), feels differently: “I cook most days of the week. Mostly around weekends, it is him. Sometimes, I do it just because I do not want to eat from outside, as it can make my PCOS worse. My partner does not have such concerns. It was selective learning that he learnt to make dal tadka exactly like me, but never once made aloo parathas. Simply because “he can’t knead the dough and roll it. Why should only I be doing it?” Changing mores? A report published by India’s Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation in 2024 noted that the time spent by women doing unpaid labour has reduced. “Females spent 140 minutes in a day in caring for their household members compared to 74 minutes spent by male members of the household,” said the report. “Cooking has always been seen as part of her (his mother’s) core role. In fact she also takes a lot of pride in it,” says Sudeep. He adds that “It was my father’s responsibility to make morning tea. My nanaji (grandfather) used to do the same for my grandmother. But largely, in terms of expectation of cooking, the role is assigned to females.” Praise as a commodity The final masala in most dishes is the praise that one gets.
The BriefWire