Rise of the fraysexuals: how sexual interest fades in some long-term relationships
Name: Fraysexuality. Age: Twelve years, but only just picking up steam. Appearance: Cold and distant and horny. Is this about people who are sexually attracted
Name: Fraysexuality. Age: Twelve years, but only just picking up steam. Appearance: Cold and distant and horny. Is this about people who are sexually attracted to Fray Bentos pies? Because thatâs a scurrilous rumour I will deny to my grave. Calm it, weirdo. Fraysexuality is something that is somehow even stranger. Iâm listening. So, remember sapiosexuality, which is being attracted to intelligence? This is basically the opposite. Being attracted to stupidity? No, thatâs called morosexuality, and youâll get a highly entertaining afternoon from Googling that. Instead, fraysexuality is when you are only attracted to people you donât really know. Oh good, weâre legitimising casual promiscuity. No, thatâs not quite it either. Itâs finding attraction in the allure of a stranger, when they represent nothing but unrealised potential.
I know that feeling. And then itâs getting bored with them as soon as your relationship deepens. Why is it apparently becoming more popular? Iâm just spitballing here, but I wonder if dating apps have something to do with it. Whyâs that? Because when you look at a profile, the lack of information about a person means that you end up projecting your desires on to them. When you actually meet them, and discover that theyâre obsessed with spoon-collecting or something, youâre bound to go off them. True. Anyway, according to Psychology Today, fraysexuals often feel shame and confusion about their sexuality, and are âunduly pathologised as having an attachment disorder or an intimacy disorder in mental health settingsâ.
Because you donât like having sex with the same person a lot? But that doesnât mean you donât still love the person you have become sexually uninterested in. Apparently feelings of love usually remain, even when you no longer want to have sex with them. You realise youâre basically describing marriage. Well, yes, nothing kills the libido like a WhatsApp thread that solely consists of messages to buy dishwasher salt. But I cannot state clearly enough that fraysexuality is a real sexuality with its own flag and everything. Ooh, I love flags! Describe it to me. Itâs a blue stripe, then a cyan stripe, then a white stripe, then ⌠Ugh, I hate it now that I can picture it.
Wait a minute, has it ever occurred to you that you might be a fraysexual? Me? Yes. After all, look at us. We were so exciting when we first got together all those years ago, but now we find ourselves reduced to constant, passive-aggressive sniping. Well, I donât think that necessarily means Iâm a fraysexual. Then what does it mean? It just means you have a horrible personality. I should have seen that coming. Do say: âI love you.â Donât say: âAnd thatâs why I want a divorce.â
The BriefWire