A moment that changed me: I’d lost my libido – then I saw Richard Ashcroft on stage and it came bursting back
I was nearly 60 and hadn’t had sex in 10 years. And I was fine with that. But seeing the Verve’s former frontman reminded me
I was nearly 60 and hadn’t had sex in 10 years. And I was fine with that. But seeing the Verve’s former frontman reminded me how much fun it is to fancy someone When the world entered lockdown in 2020, I’d just moved into a new flat where, at the age of 56, I found myself living alone for the first time in my life.
I’d been separated for nearly a decade from the father of my two kids – one of whom had already flown the nest. The other was just starting at uni. So it was just me and my cat, Trinity, in what I now thought of as my “forever home” for one. I’d embraced all those nice, selfish things about being single.
I’d travelled alone, I ate when I wanted, went to bed when I felt like it, did housework only to please myself – and usually only in times of dire need. I reconnected with friends in a fresh way, as an individual. It felt empowering and less cluttered, after the years of motherhood and partnerdom. Mealtimes were at my own volition (well, and Trinity’s) and were a case of “Mmm, what shall I have?” rather than, “Oh God, what shall I do for tea?” I know people in decades-long relationships who would bite their own arm off for this level of autonomy.
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